So, I was looking on the Pro Performance Torbay Facebook page at this 12 week challenge thinking, wow, people are going to lose weight and get buff, good on them, everyone needs a focus.
Then I get a message from Alex saying that I should do it and encourage my clients to do it too.
Great, I thought! None of my clients were up to it, I had comments from...
'Oh, I don't need the pressure'
'I won't do very well, I'll let you down'
'I don't work under pressure'
This was enough for me to sign up! If I don't make excuses, why should my clients? If I do this 12 weeks, no matter how well I have done it, I've signed up, gone through the process and the hard work and whatever results I get are results. Pressure, letting people down, it's all part of the learning curve. What will be, will be.
I asked my friend Mark to take the before photos for me, I wanted to make them unflattering, honestly! Actually I didn't have to try!
DAY 1 - Weight 62.1kg
I ran, went to the gym, took an Insanity class and ate nothing but veg and chicken with a protein shake for breakfast.
And....oh yes, this is going to my most boring blog ever for people that don't train and watch their diet....or it could go the other way and you may want to start so that you can see results? Not sure how it will go really!
DAY 2
Early run, gym, high protein and veg...getting the picture?
Days 3 to 4 were about the same with a mix of Kickboxing, Box Room and gym in the bag. Still being boring eating chicken and veg.
DAY 5 - Working away
Today was a little different, I worked away for the day in Bridgewater for a fairly extreme 4 hour session that left me absolutely knackered, and my liquid consumption was Champagne and my dinner that night was cooked by my lovely friend Denaz, who makes the best curry I have ever tasted!
Day 6 followed with an Insanity class and some fairly random food choices, all healthy, you know me!
I was doing another challenge alongside this (maybe I like a challenge?) for the charity that I work for, The Veterans Charity, it was the #wintershortschallenge and any training outside had to be done in shorts all winter!
I put on my shorts and camelbak and headed out in the hail on the coastpath around Start Point, Lannacombe etc.. my favourite coastal run.
It was a great run, almost got attacked by some cows, froze my legs off, but it was a good fat burn and a brilliant mental escape for me.
Back home, I cooked a lamb roast dinner for one, minus roast potatoes, actually recalling back I think it was just lamb and gravy!
WEEK 2 - Weight 62.5kg
Weight increased, I was expecting this as I had returned to the gym to do weights, but I was still gutted to be honest, not a happy feeling putting on with so much hard work going on.
I took my Insanity class and did a gym session.
DAY 9 - 13th January
Today, I am proud to say that I had the first proper leg DOM's in years!
I had a massive gym workout, but awful food that day. It included bacon - bacon = BAD!
I also had a few leftover Ferrero Rocher from Christmas I ate that day.
To be honest, I think I have to put this down to some kind of hormonal thing going on as I don't crave chocolate as a rule unless something weirdly womanly is going on!
Still, this kind of behaviour was not acceptable. Must Try Harder!!
I started on a product called 'Juice Plus' at the start of this challenge, brilliant reviews about it's impact on the immune system. I have an immune system defect, so any help I can get, the better, although, 4 months in is when you start to reap benefits. However, it was kicking in, but I was running myself into the ground, putting extra pressure on myself, not just physically, but mentally, I lost money over Christmas and New Year and I was away for a week for my birthday, so was stressed.
Day 10 - I didn't train and I didn't eat, I napped, I was too tired to do anything.
This was not productive!
Now...what follows, maybe skip out of this blog for a bit and read my birthday boat blog, if you've read it already, stay in, if you can cope and I shall continue with my story.
DAYS 12 - 21 - Birthday Boat Holiday - Being 40!
Food decreased - I wasn't training
Alcohol increased - I tried to do more locks, reduce food further
Stress incresed - who knows if that helped the end result
On day 17 of the challenge I fell ill, if you've read the birthday blog you will understand, but I fell ill with a virus that continued on until our return to Devon.
Weight on return - Day 22 - 60.2kg
I somehow lost weight with less exercise, but I did lower my food intake because of the lack of training.
DAY 23 - still run down
And, after waiting for so long for my booking, I got ink'd today!
Every time I get tattoo'd I get ill after, another after effect of my crappy immune system.
I survived the day on Haribo as I had no energy to cook.
Bad choices, played on my mind again.
This journey wasn't really physical, it was a Debbie mind test, has she got better? Can she cope? Have past issues been resolved or will they rear their ugly little heads again?
Time would tell.
DAYS 25 through to 36
Halfway through the challenge and I was still ill!
After the ink, I got a cold, hardly trained, except taking classes, no gym sessions, it set me right back.
Weight at 60.2kg
DAY 37
Today I found the photos of when I used to train 3 hours a day in the gym with my ex-psycho boyfriend, Matthew.
The initial impact was focus, then the focus drifted and I started to feel really shit about myself.
How could I have looked that good? I had amazing definition, hardly any bodyfat, I was a lean sexy girl!
I did a stupid thing, I went to Morrisons, bought some Brie and a Baguette after training.
Then I did the sensible thing and threw the lot in the dustbin when I got home.
Some would say, a waste of money, but it was a reduced baguette at around 27p and Morrisons cheapest saver Brie!
Another mental lesson learnt, but another step towards the slippery slope of eating issues.
DAYS 38 and 39
Properly back on it, gym and healthy eating, focussed on the positive of that photo, if I could do it then, I can do it now!
Day 39 - different story entirely!
Too focussed on that photo and hit the Thermobol fat burners.
I hardly ate, didn't train as was too tired and then felt like shit for doing what I thought was cheating.
Back in the past training with the psycho I used to take a 'gym-mix' which was why I was so ripped in those photos!
I didn't want to resort to this again (see my eating disorder blog back-along)
I had to stay fit and healthy so I could be a good example to my clients.
DAY 42
I was away this weekend for a trip to Bath, we went to an amazing veggie restaurant, but we had lots to drink and I had carb overload!
I felt bloated all day, couldn't eat dinner after such a big lunch, did no training and then followed it up by eating a bacon and black pudding sarnie for breakfast the following day.
I could only eat half, and again couldn't eat anything more that day.
Insanity class that night was welcome to me.
And to top it... I did my back in!
No training, but ate bugger all because of it.
DAYS 47 and 48
Again, no training, ridiculously tired, immune system failure but painted my caravan to stay active.
DAY 52
Today I started to use quinoa as a carb, I had cut out carbs and I think that was why I was feeling the fatigue, it's all a learning process!
It's high in protein (happy with that)
Lots of energy and now maybe I could be less tired?
DAY 53 - DOMs
The quinoa helped with my energy for training - RESULT!
So, day 56 I decided it was a great idea to get to the gym early on a Sunday morning, in my sauna suit to work the treadmill to get a few extra pounds off!
My god!
I think I did 45 mins in the end, constant pace, as I ran the sweat in the elbow bagging increased, it was like someone was pouring water in from the top.
As I ran, sweat spurted from the bottom of the trousers onto the treadmill! Pretty gross to be honest!
I took the suit off in the shower at the leisure centre, I never knew so much water could come off you so fast!
That made me happy for at least the next 8 hours!
DAY 57
Quinoa was definitely the way forward in terms of energy it was the only carb other than root veg carb I was having.
Carbs are ESSENTIAL for busy people trying to do even more than usual. The fatigue was going...
DIARY
From day 57 to the end of the challenge I didn't write entries in my diary.
I was putting so much pressure on myself all the issues from my past were coming back.
I had started obsessing about my body, looking at my 'before' photos, then the ones of 7 years ago and I clearly wasn't happy.
They say that old habits die hard and when you have an eating disorder, you have it for life - there is no cure, just management and understanding, and I have got to understand mine a lot more and pretty much manage to control it to a point.
The slippery slope was evident to me when I took on 'The Exe to Axe' 20 mile coastal race from hell on the last day of the challenge.
I did this, not only carb-less, but with pretty much no food for 2 days.
I wanted maximum water/fat-loss without resorting to drugs! I know, the lesser of 2 evils right/ Why would you put yourself through this? Because it was a challenge of course!
It is now, at this point that I want to say DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!
Do what I say, not what I do!
If you are overweight, do a challenge with achievable goals, if you want to bulk up, then do it.
Do not try and push yourself to limits that you do not physically have in you within your lifestyle to prove yourself.
I completed (when have I not?)
I put myself through mental torment and body fatigue, I very nearly went backwards in the body image stakes (who am I kidding, I need to be on watch at the moment but my friends are there)
I have learnt a lot about myself, I have grown up, I've not resorted to cheats and all the things I did before, and... I did lose it at the end.
I know what I have to do now, I am physically and mentally stronger and now I intend to keep this up, but not become obsessed again.
Thanks Pro-Performance, it's been an interesting ride, I almost lost friends, but to be fair, if I lost them, they weren't really friends.
Thanks Fanny for the after photos taken in the changing rooms at the Pavilions and thanks to my amazing Mummy for my after outfit! I love it!
Thanks everyone :) x
Hello.
ReplyDelete