This blog, will not follow my usual format, it's random, full of emotion and very very different on purpose. The Birthday boat trip was not your usual kind of trip, the fact that we were on water, which represents emotion was going to dictate the following events, although some of you will be skeptical of what I will write, I still have an open mind, until I can follow things up further.
So without further ado I shall introduce the first chapter.....
'Comings and Goings' - aka 5/6/8/7/6/5/6
This represents the people on board at any one time, it was a complicated task to arrange who was on board on what day, when were they coming or going and how would we plan the boat journey accordingly. Wolfy was a great help planning this prior to the trip as we say down in The Bayhorse Inn one lunchtime with a map, Kathy too and information also from Mum and Mark, who would not be doing the full 7 days.
It worked out like this - 5 of us would start on the boat leaving Totnes on the Friday. Mark would join us Sunday night, first change on the trip, Mark arrived Friday night, although I didn't believe him until he actually turned up!
Kathy and Rob would join us on Monday morning, this rapidly turned into Monday afternoon, anyway, we did well, getting Kathy to a funeral on Wednesday and securing her back on the boat the same night, and getting Mum to her train with seconds to spare.
Rob and Kathy ended up staying another night too due to the pub building works not being ready on time, so they had an extra day to relax.
I think it all went okay in the end, a few tweaks to our original plan, but yes, happy with that.
'Plastic storage boxes' - aka The outside fridge
A brief chapter about something that really tickled me on the trip.
I had bought a lot of food for us for the week, but it was going to be transported in the back of Jessy to Bradford on Avon with the dogs also in the back, so it had to be secure.
I bought some large storage boxes from Morrisons really cheap and thought that I could always use them in the caravan after the trip so they would be useful.
They proved to be more useful than that - the fridge on the boat was a small one, the boat was only really used for stag and hen parties and probably wasn't used for the kind of cooking we did that week, so the boxes proved useful, outside in the cold air as our second, or 'outside fridge'
This will probably tickle those who were on the boat more than anyone else reading it, but I like to blog what tickles me, the things that I like, and this was funny. I have no idea how we would have coped in the summer? A stack of coolboxes maybe?
'Debbie gets bumpy part 1 - aka run to the weir
I wanted to do some running during the week, there didn't seem to be much opportunity though, particularly the first part of the trip as there was a lot to do with locks and swing bridges etc...
We decided that I could do a lock with Fanny, I would run to the swing bridge she would get off and then we could run together.
Sadly we didn't calculate the distance as well as we could, the swing bridge was open, and by the time I had run on a little further I had arrived at The Cross Guns pub where we were to stop for a little beverage.
The boat was nowhere in sight and I had heard a weir on my run, I ran down a muddy path through some woods and eventually saw a beautiful weir and an old mill on the other side that loos like it was being renovated.
I stopped there for a second, taking in the beauty, listening to the sound of the water and relaxing in my own thoughts for a brief moment, thoughts that had been clouded on a boat full of others with their thoughts floating into the crowded ether.
I then ran back to the pub briefly, over the aquaduct and looked down over the flowing river below, for maybe a little too long.
This is my lovely Mummy in control of steering the boat, check out her serious face! Mine was pretty much the same, until I got into it and gave out cheesy excited grins.
I did a couple of stints, but I was more excited about doing the locks - story to follow..... but Vicky was amazing! She had experience before but she was calm and controlled when piloting and certainly impressed me.
Wolfy, of course was master up there, experienced, knowledgeable and turned the boat round on a penny without using the winding point and without 2 directional reverse!
Everyone had a go at piloting, but the most memorable for me was when Kathy had gone off to the funeral, Mum had gone home Mark had left and us girls (Me, Fanny and Vicky) were having a little 'girly time' down below *sniggers*
Vicky was massaging my shoulder, she was an ace 'on board physio' for all of us, Wolfy and Rob were drinking wine up top and in charge of our journey - they both refused soup in favour of wine!
Suddenly there was a massive jolt and a bump and I fell forward off the seat almost smashing my face on the wall! (exaggeration works well in a blog I think) Rob continued like this for the rest of the journey back to Avoncliff.
We first noticed it looking out of the galley window, I can't remember if it was Fanny or Vicky who was stood next to me who said, 'we don't usually go this fast do we?' and yes, we were speeding along!
Everyone enjoyed their experience of being in charge I think, Kathy seemed to have the same approach as Rob though we had a few bumpy moments there too!
Most of you know I'm a bit of a weirdo when it comes to viaducts, aquaducts, arches, tunnels etc... a completely unreasonable fear really and one in which I am trying to overcome and face on every occasion.
I arrived at the aquaduct before everyone else on my run to the Cross Guns Inn.
I made an immediate decision to yet again face my fear and go under it.
The arches on it were not too severe it didn't scare me as much as they usually do, I filmed myself going through it to prove to everyone on the boat that I had done it. It felt good to do it, to challenge myself. I then ran back up towards the pub, back onto the tow path and along to where I could see our boat, 'George' aka the floating caravan and everyone arrive ready to moor up.
Here's a photo of Fanny by a lock, the early part of the trip me and Fanny did a lot of locks, they were the best fun, getting to jump off the boat, watching the rush of water, pure energy flow through, making the boat rise, or fall as appropriate. They were fun!
Swing bridges were a little easier and just one person was needed to push them round but they weren't as fun as the locks.
There was one huge lock in Bath, just by the turning point that Rob took on, but I struggled to close the gate again! Vicky was shouting at me from the other side, 'put some weight into it' as she easily closed her side, but I was struggling!
Wolfy ended up climbing up to try and help me and just as he approached me I managed to move the thing, great timing, still he helped me, as he was there and we eventually closed my side.
As well as being fun I treated the locks as a workout, driving up from my legs on the ratchet and engaging my core pushing and pulling the gates. It was brilliant fun!
This, is a photo of my trifle, an amazing creation, filled with 3/4 bottle of sherry, 2 packs of jelly, 1 pack of sponge fingers (yes, they do look like sausages) a large carton of Ambrosia Devon custard and 2 pots of double cream! We also had sprinkles for the top but I like to add them individually after otherwise the colour runs!
Rob and Kathy gave me this beautiful trifle bowl and all the ingredients for my birthday, after Kathy heard Judi Spiers read out my email on Radio Devon one morning, trifle is my all time favourite pudding, but only when made this way.
Mum had brought on board a magical birthday cake with a wizard on the top, lots of icing, cream and jam. I'm not much of a cake person but I had some of it.
So another things to talk about in this section is what my friends really think of me.....when moored up near to a shop, they snuck off, like naughty little children to indulge in 'non-healthy' snacks!
Now, I had stacked the boat with fruit and veg, because that's the kind of food I eat, but it was everyone's holiday, it was up to them to take on board adequate 'naughty' provisions or what they wanted to eat, I just catered for general breakfasts, lunches and dinners according to what I would usually have.....I wasn't going to stop anyone eating what they wanted, although they seemingly felt guilty about it! This has since lead to a new business idea for me, but I won't be blogging it, it's a work in progress and you shall hear about it all in the fullness of time!
Once moored not far from the pub, we all ventured inside, some for a warming spiced cider, some for some cheesy chips, but we settled there by the log fire (mum dried her bum on it after sitting in a puddle) and relaxed in each others company, although starting the alcohol intake that would continue into the night.
The pub was very old, had a priest hole, lots of chamber pots hanging from the ceiling, the landlord was friendly, Rob was enjoying the locally brewed ale in there and all seemed well in the world. We were all off the boat and into a little normality.......
We were to return there on Wednesday night, and again on Thursday morning for a naughty breakfast, that none of us had to cook on the boat.
I will be returning to The Cross Guns in the very near future, to book a room for the night there, the rest of the story will become apparent in the next few blog chapters.
To the right is one of the very many strange and peculiar objects on show in the pub - anyone know what it is?
'The Galley' - aka Debbie learns to cook.
I have a passion for cooking, I have done for years, since the early days of experimenting with vegetarian cooking and then adapting to meat meals when I finally stopped the rabbit diet.
I have recently made a very good friend in Twizz aka Mark! It's a very new friendship, but one of positivity, swapping ideas on business, how we may eventually rule the world with our own different skills and ideas. He is a positive in my life, he gives, or sparks off energy, something that I have much needed recently. He is also a Juice Plus man, and someone I can talk JP to til the cows come home, both excited with how it can change your life.
Twizz is a Chef, not just any Chef, one who like to cook healthy food, to get as much veg and fruit into a meal, right up my street, so one night when discussing the birthday boat I asked Twizz if he would like to come aboard, of course with a little price to pay - to help me cook!
I spent a lot of time in the galley with him (something that will be brought up soon in another chapter) learning new skills, tasting, chopping, watching and learning.
I am by no means a novice cook, I do a lot of it and really enjoy it, so this was a valuable experience for me and one I will never forget - especially the most amazing tip about Ginger!
I left Twizz completely in charge of the food when he was on board and I was only there to assist and learn - now here was the start of the upcoming problem from what I see, you see most people know me for not letting anyone do anything for me, I don't let anyone in my kitchen and very rarely let anyone do anything for me or to help me. I am a stubborn Capricorn goat!
But sometimes, when I don't have to be, I like to bossed around a bit, otherwise I just walk all over people, I'm sure you know that but deep down I need someone to take charge, to be a bit dominant, to educate me and this time, I was happy being told what to do, it excited me. It was my choice, but not one anyone would have expected of me, but who really knows me properly?
Time in the Galley wasn't just about learning to cook, it was learning about me, who I am, what I want and how others view me, without asking questions, assumption, well, we all know that silly corporate rhyme about it eh?
'Gas heating failures' - aka check the gas before bed!
Threw this one in just to lighten the mood slightly before continuing on with a seemingly deep adventure - and I'm not talking the water.....
And now Rob, displays the look that should have been on others faces....one of discontent and over-thought.
'The emotional rollercoaster' - aka that could have ended the trip!
I've thought long and hard about how to blog this, and at the same time sparing peoples feelings, and to be honest, it's not possible, we all know who was on the boat so I can't make up names for people, but I am going to try and generalise as much as possible, I would like to add right now, that I am not blogging this to dig up any ill feeling again, or to show up anyone for anything, including myself, but I have always been an honest blogger, I tell it how it is, about myself usually as a rule, so I am not going to change this. The experience was one that we all hopefully learnt from, and if you ever want things reinforced then you can return to this blog and my words and know that I do not lie to you, I communicate....which brings me to the story, for that is what it is now, a piece of history.
We all know what happens when a group of people get put together on a seemingly small boat for a week there is no space to get away, your thoughts are their thoughts, small things become blown up for no reason, and communication as I know it does not exist.
I had time to gather my thoughts on the run to the weir, I was able to clear my head and breath deeply and know, for my mind what was what and how to be.
That night, after visiting the Cross Guns pub, we had another lovely meal cooked by Mark, of course with my help. In hindsight, I realise that other than me, and the odd bit of chit chat, no one had actually spoken to Mark properly. He only really knew me on the boat, I was his only source of proper communication. But, as I say, hindsight, wonderful thing!
More alcohol flowed, I had restricted myself slightly that night and gladly so with what was to follow.
One of the group finally came clean...it appeared that there had been several conversations behind my back, I had been blindly ignorant, thinking everyone was happy, even when I asked I was told yes, all is fine, now I LOVE communication, it's my thing, without it shit happens, this was now proved on the boat.
I wasn't going to have it, I wanted the honest truth from everyone, why hadn't they said anything to me?
The basics of it are....there were expectations from everyone on the boat as to what it would be like, so when their expectations were dashed, it was my fault.
I had no expectations whatsoever, whatever was to happen would happen as I had never been in that situation before.I was happy and fooled into believing that my friends and family were happy too.
Words were exchanged, I was livid, the behaviour was completely inappropriate, as were gestures and words said in the heat of the moment, rather than people talking to me in the first place.
I couldn't stay on the boat for a second longer otherwise I too would have engaged in the childish rants and ridiculous excuses, never ever assume, as I said earlier, if you don't ask questions how can you know what the answers are? Basic common sense surely?
Anyway, I put on my coat, luckily I had gloves in my pocket, but other than that I had prepared only for a short walk up the tow path to calm down so as not to indulge in childish verbal assaults.
Lots of people had asked me, 'what are you doing with the dogs when you go away?'
My answer was simple, they are coming with me. My boys mean a lot to me, I never had children, they aren't a replacement, but they keep me company fill me with excitable positive energy and I did not want to spend my birthday week without them.
Now, I know why people would ask, Finnegan is a nutter Rielly is still only a puppy, Murphy of course is always on his best behaviour, but 8 people and 3 dogs on a narrow-boat could have been a bit of a task, but it was not so.
They were over pampered by everyone (except me) on the boat, they were allowed on the sofas and everyone (except me) took it in turns to cuddle poor shaky Finnegan as we went through the locks.
Finally my 'needy' dogs had all the attention they had ever wished for and they were happy, content and finally chilled out!
There was only one chance for them to get completely off the lead all week and they did amazingly with just lead walks and being couped up all week.
Hats off to the boys, they were the best behaved out of all of us on that boat, they made me proud.
I threw this chapter in just to lighten the mood slightly again before getting back to the rollercoaster....
'Debbie gets bumpy part 4' aka send out the search party.
I didn't want to include this in the same chapter as previous because I strongly believe that this experience had to be this way. This was about my journey into 40, so we start with me getting off the boat, ill-prepared for what was going to happen in the next couple of hours.
I walked along the towpath a few feet with the trees on my right, I tripped and slipped down a bank to the right, slipping through trees and brambles, eventually landing on a bumpy, brambly path that I now know used to be a path towards the back of the Cross Guns.
I was angry, cold already and became completely disorientated. I must have crossed the aquaduct but I don't remember doing it. I walked further away from the sound of the weir and it soon vanished.
I had no torch, no hat or jumper, just a think blue top and my coat. The ground was already icy, it was our coldest night that night, we actually broke through ice the following morning with the boat as the canal had frozen over.
I did, however have my phone with me but had limited signal, I walked and walked, trying to find my way back to the boat, but seemingly had been walking even further in the wrong direction, I had ended up in a small dark village called Freshford.
It was a very strange experience, there was a strange old house with some scary music coming from it, I found a phone box that was lit, but locked and contained no phone, but was filled with magical cobwebs. I was getting scared at this point, I had no idea how to get back, I was frozen cold to the bone, I was crying now and wanted someone to find me, but at the same time, I felt all but one on the boat to be traitors to me at that time so looked around for a small warm-ish place I could bed down in for the night.
More calls ensued from Rob trying to locate me and I tried to trace my footsteps out of the village.
I have no idea of time and how long I was out, but I found myself back in Avoncliff by a sign for the station car park. I called Twizz to tell him where I was, he said he was close by and was flashing a torch, I made my way below the aquaduct and saw his torch, I shouted, it was him, I ran up some steps and he was there with a warm hug, I felt safe once more.
I was shaking so much, I have never been so cold in my entire life, we stood overlooking the river for a few moments and then headed back to the boat.
Needless to say, back on the boat I said nothing, I wanted to go to bed and get warm and I was tucked in and given a warm cuddle from Twizz as I cried myself to sleep.
'Communication is key' - aka it's good to talk!
Well, the next morning was awkward, it was still cold because we had run out of gas overnight, Twizz and I sorted it, put on the kettle and I settled into my thoughts.
The tension between everyone was ridicuous but I was adamant that everyone could get off the boat at Bathampton and I would get Sally Narrowboats to come and take me back. I had heard discussions about packing and leaving early as I drifted off to sleep that night so they could do what they wanted. they hadn't ruined my birthday, but shown their true colours and at that time I didn't want to know them let alone be stuck on a boat with them.
So we prepared awkwardly for the off, and one by one discussions happened. Apologies were made and questions answered but there was one person that was going to be the toughest - my Mum.
We had a bit of a stubborn-off, but I gave in and had the most important conversation I have ever had with my Mum. Even my Mum doesn't know everything about me, but what was most important was that the air had been cleared and apologies were made and accepted.
A bit if a harsh lesson for all I think, but at the same time now I think it was necessary, I do have a life of my own with my own needs and feelings I'm not a machine, but a vulnerable person at times. I like to help others, but where is my help when I need it?
So, we opened a bottle of bubbly and started a-fresh - life begins at 40? Hell yeah!
What a difference a day makes........
I had some amazing presents, but the one thing I had wanted was to have my friends and family with me on my special day, all enjoying themselves, and this is what happened.
We had a lovely meal at the pub, I drank way too much and passed out eventually and I can honestly say it was a birthday to remember!
I don't feel any different physically for being 40, but I am charged and positive now after the experience on the boat, and it made me realise, as childish as I can be, I have actually grown up! Grown up in the right sense of the phrase, in general respect, sense, responsibility and reason, but I am happy with my life's progress and I am happy and content in who I am now, something that has been a long time coming.
I know I shall have more wibbles along the way, that's life after all, but I know I can control it now and it won't control me anymore. I can now have some self-love without doubt.
How many people can get that at a milestone birthday eh?
'Debbie gets bumpy' - aka the final chapter.
Now, right at the beginning I spoke of skeptics so if you are one, read on if you wish but keep an open mind. I haven't got the full story yet, but open your mind enough to compare the rest of my blog story with what I am about to write.
Shortly after I took this, something very special happened to me whilst stood in the doorway just to the right of this picture.
I was stood chatting, everything was great we were all happy and chilled, then I became a little too chilled.....my whole body was frozen and I was covered head to toe in goosebumps.
Now this has happened to me in a not so dramatic way before whilst standing in The Bay Horse. But this was special, I could feel this presence with me, I was emotional, so sad, it was amazing.
Others could feel the cold around me, the landlord spied what was happening a brought over a book called 'Hosts of Ghosts' which he kept on the bar. Within the book were many stories of ghostly encounters in the pub.
The goosebumps remained and listening to read tales of ghostly encounters there I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
I borrowed a neckace from Vicky and invited the ghost into the seclusion of the next room to sit with me, I believe that they were looking for help, or a way out, but I can't say for sure.
I asked dome control questions and used the necklace as a pendulum the answers were forthcoming, the cold feeling remained with me, it was the most amazing experience of my life.
She was a young lady, very sad, so sad that it brought me to tears, she was cold, and wanted help.
I have pure empathy for her, it was like we were one person connected, I can't describe it properly because I am still trying to get my head around it. I was with her for a long time, then she vanished to return briefly again but that night was something special.
We returned to the pub the next morning for breakfast to see if any more information could be gained.
The landlord, very kindly gave me a copy of the book and we read as we ate our breakfasts.
I also spoke to the chef at the pub, who had experienced encounters himself there, it's a very special pub, not at all scary but so very fascinating.
The 'Blue lady' is the most seen, she was seemingly a young lady who was local, she used to use the rear path that lead to the pub, the same path that I ended up on.
Her friends and family shunned her relationship with an inapproriate man to the point where she took her own life by jumping off the bridge over the river (prior to the canal and the aqueduct) and it seems that he took his life too from the same bridge.
Of course there are always stories and tales, but the significance of what had happened to me over the past few days and her story were quite poignant.
I am now going to investigate further a visit to the pub for the whole night I am already tracing history of the area and I want to know who I was really communicating with that night.
Anyone else had a birthday adventure quite so special as this?
No, I thought not.
Special thanks to my Mummy, Wolfy, Fanny, Vicky, Twizz aka Mark, Rob and Kathy for making my birthday a proper adventure I value your friendship and hope to have many more adventures together in the future. Loves you all xx
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