Dreams

Morning all!

Had to do a little blog today on this subject as last night I had the most hilarious dream ever!

Recently, if you read my blog you will know that I dreamed up a cake recipe and had to try it out.
I've always had very vivid dreams and I think that you can read a lot into a personality by what they dream about.
I have a dream dictionary but I personally like to have a deep think into why I've dreamt a certain thing. And sometimes I try not to think about it too! haha

So, interesting dream, I think inspired by Keiley going on holiday, as I was on holiday.

We (I was people who I knew in my dream but dont actually know who they were) anyway, we were in this kind of natural rock amphitheatre kind of place, well, more like a proper theatre but in rock. Not like the Minac, anyway, there were crowds of people gathering, muttering, giving shifty gazes at other groups of people.
The atmosphere was awful, I then was told that the groups were all rival gangs out to intimidate each other, and very shortly it was gonna kick off if nothing was done about it.

I didn't fancy a massive kick-off as usual, was worried about fighting and losing my Kickboxing licence! Funny how these things come into your dreams!

There was so much tension, some people had weapons on them, more and more were gathering, yet there was a very unusual silence.
I had had enough!
I winked at the people directly next to me, ran to the bottom of the theatre stairs and started singing....
"It's time to play the music.."
a few people joined in, I took a few dancing steps up and raised my arms in the air and turned round to see a smiling crowd all looking up at me!
"It's time to light the lights"
By this time everyone had joined in, they were all singing and dancing, somehow an Orchestra and band were accompanying us!
The song went on, it was epic, a massive sing song and dance and started by me!
We finished The Muppet Theme song, everyone cheered and hugged and went on their way!

So, what the hell does that say about me?! I have to say though that is possibly one of my most favourite dreams of all time!  Woke up super happy and smiley!

Happy Monday, keep smiling......

her second sea swim

Well, happy weekend!

Today I woke up to the most beautiful sunshiney day in Devon.

And today was sea swim day!

I was going to go to Bigbury with some friends, but knew it would be busy and actually when I spoke to my hero and triathlon Queen Lesley during the week she said that they swam at South Milton Sands.

I moved to Devon 8 years ago, well, it will be 8 years ago on 20th August.
When I moved to Devon I moved to a small village near Kingsbridge, called Malborough.
I lived in a lovely house called Darkham Cottage, right next to the pub, The New Inn.

The dogs and I used to go to South Milton Sands for our nightly walk, it was just down the road. I fact, when I brought the lovely Paddy back from the rescue kennels, South Milton Sands was where we all went, Blue, General, Paddy and I.

So, I thought, a perfect place,a place of comfort and happy memories for me. A little out of the way for grockles and no kite surfers or other such getting in my way in the sea. So off I went.

I pulled into the lower Thurlestone car park, made friends with the 2 older guys working there (as I do) got a great parking spot and made my way down to the beach.

Wetsuit was on, and off I went, walked straight in and suddenly felt my legs raise form under me.

I had been told that the joy of a wetsuit is that you can float, and I started to find out how true this was.
The water was a beautiful cool blue, you could see the pebbles beneath, the sun was shining on the water making special patterns.

No one could be in this situation and not feel a certain amount of happiness.

I was at the place I found calm and peace when I moved to Devon (and after James had gone) it was my special place and I suddenly relaxed.

I floated there in the sea, gazing up at the sun, a massive smile across my face.
No one else was in the sea, they were all there on the sand, massive pasty white fat arses laying there doing nothing whilst I suddenly found my confidence to go for it!

Off I went, along the shoreline, water just over shoulder high, front crawl arms, relaxed legs and floating body!

And back the other way, and again, and again, calm, relaxed, happy in the sunshine, feeling nicely confident in the sea looking at the most spectacular surroundings.

I had to get my head in the water though, I know I haven't properly managed my front crawl breathing yet, but I had to at least stick my head under,
I did it, goggles on, deep breath and exhaled and swam, I looked at the pebbles beneath and the ripples of the tide, the water was icy cold, breathtakingly awesome.
I came up for air and went down again.

I knew this was going to take hard work and a lot of it, I had to practice that breath control in the pool. Tomorrow is Paignton swimming day so it's something to be worked on.

I swam for an hour, a whole hour in the sea at South Milton sands, and at one point a beautiful Golden Retriever was taking her first steps into sea swimming too, I encouraged her from my point in the sea and she went for it, all wagging and calm.
Better than me by far, but it gave me encouragement to see her 'no fear' approach.

I loved today, I enjoyed today, I made today count, I made massive mental progress and I shall be going back there ASAP to continue with my progress.

I am going to do this triathlon, I dont care how long it takes but I will do it and I know now after today that I can!

If you want something that badly then it will happen. Make it happen!

her longest cycle ever and other stuff!

Evenin all!

Wow! I'm bloody shattered, just sat in my garden enjoying this bootiful late summer eve, watching the fluffy little white nice clouds drift ahead.

I have a small glass of wine and the chicken is in the oven, went for the healthy option even though today is eat what I like Saturday, I liked chicken.

So today consisted of, my last Saturday Boxercise session for the summer, a new lady turned up and she was great, sad to see the Saturday session go for a little while but glad of the training time for the triathlon, and flaming hell do I need it?!

I came back from Boxercise, downed another prot shake, put on my running gear and did a cheeky 3 and a little bit miles as fast as I could. The problem is I am now a plodder of the highest order! I do long and slow (heehee) so I am having to get my sprint legs on if I'm gonna do 5k in the tri!
I did it in about 26 mins, route round Dartington Hall, ok and said Hi to some cows on the way round too!

Came back, quick shower and change into the only stuff I have to cycle in, running gear! haha

I currently dont have a road bike so I had to make do with my cheap second hand mountain bike!
And off to Diptford to the Village Fair where South Hams Martial Arts had a stand.

7.75 miles in 43 mins, hard work, flipping eck it was hard and that silly hill before you get into the village, I got off the bike and ran up with it, it was faster!

Got to the fair, bought a burger and a drink as I was starving! And did some kicking and stuff, got chatted up by some really old guys, which was nice!

And then off on my way again back to Totnes, 7.45 miles in 32 mins on a mountain bike on the roads!

I have to say, that is the furthest I have ever cycled! You see, a triathlon was never in my plans not just because of the swimming but also because of the cycling! One out of 3 aint bad I guess? haha

Back, showered, napped for 5 mins, back on the bike to the Steam Packet to see Amy, who I haven't seen for flipping way too long and back home!

Which is where my blog started!

Now waiting to speak to one of my favourite people on the phone after way too long! (28th May)

Have a great evening all, I'm sea swimming tomorrow! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

xx

positive conversation

Hi all,

Thought I'd update you, since the spider bite and leg pain! Antihistamines working and I'm feeling a lot better. Phew!

This morning I cycled back from Aerobics *whoop whoop* to the leisure centre to get swim times for today.
As I was about to leave Lesley (my ex's old school teacher and fitness hero of mine) walked out and got onto her bike.

We got chatting about triathlons, she is awesome, she's been doing tri's for 18 years and is nearly 60 and has got better and better at them. best in her age in Bristol last week!

I've always looked up to her as she trains so so hard and so fit for her age, she is what I want to be like at her age - Legend!

We talked about the swimming element and she gave me so so many words of confidence and advice I've come away beaming! She also said she had every confidence in me, which was what I really needed.

She did her first few tri swims doing breaststroke and said that there is nothing wrong with doing that if I'm comfortable, but eventually the best way is to do crawl.

Her wisdom and encouragement have given me that extra little bit that I needed to get me on track fully with my training, I am becoming more confident in the water and the more I do the more I will get better.

Last night I did 2 lengths on my back (no jokes please) I would never have dreamt of that a month ago.

Anyway, wanted to share my ever so positive special moment with you, when your fitness hero gives you encouragement, then you go for it and make them and yourself proud!

Thanks Lesley, you are ace!

her next stroke!

Now now! It's nothing rude you saucy lot!
And 2 blogs in one day eh? Madame, with this bloggage you are really spoiling us! (french accent)

Well, you know me when I get excited or just when anything happens I have to tell you all and get it off my tiny little chest.

So, Triathlon only weeks away and I still haven't learnt front crawl, it had to happen at some point and today, Tits Out Tuesday I thought I would celebrate by being Tits Out Tuesday Triathlon Training Day. #TOTTD or something like that haha

Took my LBT (legs bums tums) class in Dartington, legs still burning from the Zumbadrinkathon and Monday nights Kickboxing and knee sparring extravaganza, but it was all good.
Then a protein shake and a bowl of porridge later I donned my running gear and set off up Kingsbridge Hill.

One of my normal runs, heavy legs, hard run, didn't enjoy the first 3rd then I seemed to get into my stride, enjoyed the sunny (yep, I know, weird eh) countryside and knocked out a 5 miler. Nice.

Tiny Bike ride, went to take a Kickboxing class, tiny bike ride, and then it was swim time!

I have to overly thank Shaun at the pool for his cool, hilarious approach to making me feel better about being crap and he encouraged me all the way.

I ended up doing widths with a float between my thighs! That was quite a funny moment, well, for me anyway as Shaun described where I had to put it. I really must contemplate growing up one day!
But float firmly inserted between ones thighs, tips on breathing, head movement and streamlining and I was off!
The  women in the pool were very lovely about me cutting across instead of along and asked me lots of questions about the triathlon, some have seen me in the paper for running challenges and were quite excited about my progress over the last few weeks.
That was nice, that they had actually taken an interest and were looking forward to what I can do next week. That also gives me added pressure (good pressure) to perform to the best of my ability.

I did loads of widths, well, a lot anyway and I started to get it.
Tomorrow I will go again so that I can keep up the progress.

I will do it, I really will, I've done the front crawl head in the water thing and I will beat this sea swim!
Rrrrrrrrroooooooarrrrrrrr!

Night lovelies

busy!

Just sat, having a cuppa after taking my Legs, Bums and Tums class, sorting through emails, updating work on facebook and twitter and communicating via text at the same time.
We all do it I guess, but a text conversation this morning has made me giggle a little and I reckon we all live very very different lives.

My own life in the last 12 months has changed more than I could ever believe after being made redundant and starting my own business.
I knew having my own business would be hard work, tiring, degrading at times, but I never really realised just how much focus has to be on that, and not much else.

The usual 'life of Debbie' in my past has consisted of the following elements
Pets
Boyfriend
Job
Training

Here is the updated 2012 list of elements
Pets
Constant work on building my business
Traning others
Training for challenges
Supporting other challenges

My life has turned into a massive whirlpool of brain mush and exercise!

Trying to fit into others ideals and reality is becoming more and more difficult and my normal is being completely incomprehendable to some people!
Unfortunately my 'normal' life went, last June, or some time previous to that at around the time of the 103 Ultra. My mind changed.

Some say I'm selfish, I say, if I don't put my every waking moment into building my business, it will fail, maybe taking part in challenges is selfish? But when so much good from fundraising can come from it how can it be?

I spent years wasted on people who didn't deserve my attention, they brought nothing positive into my world, now it's time for me to redeem my time here, and with that, I may not be there as much as I was, I may not be able to afford to go out at the weekend and catch up with people, I may be too tired to be sociable all the time, but the above is my current life.

The people who understand are the other 'Ultra' people, the ones that go out of their way to raise money and do silly challenges, the ones that have their own business, the ones that have had and the people who live a less 'normal' existence than most.
These people know who they are, they will now be smiling at this point, because you guys are the ones that are always there for me.
I'm guessing there will also be a couple of frowns though from others.

This is me, this is busy me, this is me and my focus, the things that have to be important for the sake of my existence.

Sorry, had to get it off my chest, but I guess everything is relative?

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Fear!

Tucked away, just up the road, behind those trees you can just about see the footings for one of Brunel's finest structures, a structure that carries the beautiful Steam trains from Paignton to Kingswear.
The design around Viaducts is extraordinary, power and strength, yet beautiful to look at in the landscape.

Yesterday I went for a sunny coast run. Parked up at Goodrington and started on my way, past all the scantily clad beach-goers, most of which should really have put clothes on!

My foot was still hurting after the sparring competition and I just couldn't stand a long run. I made it to Broadsands in agony and limped along past the brightly coloured beach huts.
I love Broadsands as it's never as busy as Goodrington, the landscape is far more pretty and one day I would love a beach hut there!
Annoyed at myself for even trying to run on a bad foot I decided that today was about a challenge, I couldn't do the one I wanted so I decided, enough was enough.

I've recently been facing one of my fears, water and swimming, so why not go for it, face my biggest fear by far.
Fear - odd thing really I guess.
My 2 fears are very different and fear can come from various reasons.

Take my Fear #1 Water/swimming
This came from an incident that happened when I was younger, and also my lack of ability to do it leads to a lack of confidence in myself. Once you've understood that, you can plan around it, and eventually beat it.
Swimming a few times a week, getting good, getting confident can turn it all around because I know that the better I get, the less fear I will have. It's controllable and can be understood.

Now to Fear#2 Viaducts
I have absolutely no idea why they terrify me so so much!
I have never had any incident whereby I have been scared at one, nothings fell off one at me, nothing. No reasonable explanation for it whatsoever.
I first realised my fear when I was small. We used to go on holiday to Cornwall, there was a viaduct not far from the rear car park at Trago Mills. I remember looking at it, sinister dark and looming.

Then as I got older I was out in the car one day with my boyfriend at the time, I was only about 16/17 and we were near where he lived, all of a sudden we approached this viaduct and went under it.
Of course my reaction was to start crying, shaking with fear and poor Phil not having any idea what was going on.
I had no idea either but I knew I was terrified.

You see, the swimming thing, easily explained and sort of easily resolved.
The viaduct thing - hmmmm, an interesting proposition!

So, there am I stood by the beach at Broadsands, hot beautiful sunny day, a few fluffy clouds, lovely scenery, and my challenge.
I was going to go and see if I could get near to the Viaduct, see what happens, I would have to under it to get back up the road to Churston and back along the main road to complete my run. That was what I had to do, and you know me and challenges, I was not going to be beaten.

I trotted out of the car park at Broadsands and up the road, I could almost feel it's looming presence, I was starting to feel emotional, the silly kind of emotional women get when they have PMT that kind of weirdness.
I caught sight of it again, hiding behind the trees, waiting for me, breathing out of it's dark stony towers, I slowed to a walk, I didn't want to approach too fast as I wanted to know what I was really feeling about it, what was the problem?

The photos in this blog are what I actually took yesterday, I haven't stolen them from anywhere I had to get this close to take them!
So I move closer, my heart racing like I've just run up 10 hills in a row, goosebumps on my arms and tears in my eyes.
This reaction of crying near them is the most bizarre, I could be feeling on top of the world, pass under a viaduct and cry like a baby.

The reason I chose this particular bad boy is because I was out one day with Matthew (ex!) we were taking the dogs to Broadsands, I'd never been before, we thought it would be fun for the guys to run on the beach a bit and we were in good moods (made a change) and the dogs were up for it!
We were driving along, I didn't know the way but was taking directions from Matthew.
We turned a corner and all of a sudden it was there, right there looming away like an evil presence.
I screamed and burst into tears as I drove right underneath it.
Matthew had no idea what was going on and smacked me on the arm as an odd reaction to my fear. I travelled further down the road away from it, pulled over and sat and cried.
Matthew has never forgotten that! I scared the life out of him with my screaming!!

So I had to go back and face it properly.

I was getting this close now, I leant on a tree and let my feelings tell me what was happening. I had tears running down my face, it was sadness I was feeling, proper sadness, from deep within myself.
I also had a feeling almost like the one at Hexworthy, as though someone is resting a hand on the back of my neck and gently pressing down.
It was an odd oppressive feeling, and the more I looked up, the worse the feeling got.

I can feel goosebumps on my head as I am writing this, just thinking of what happened yesterday.

At this point I mentally gave myself a shake, told myself not to be so stupid and get it over with!

There was a blue plaque on the inside of the wall to the left of the road, I wanted to take a photo of it to prove that I have been there, to prove I'm not too much of a big girl to walk under it.
My fear has never been about them falling down or anything, as I said, it's a completely irrational fear, based on nothing!
A little treat came my way that gave me the confidence to move forward. A steam train came over from Kingswear direction heading back to the Station. It gave me enough of a mental happy boost to go for it!
I approached, walked right underneath it and made several attempts to take the photo due to my insanely shakey hands!

 I was now right underneath on of the arches! Right under it looking up! I was ok, it was almost as though the approach to it was worse than actually being under it.
Either that or I was starting to finally man-up about it.

And here's the evidence, beautiful summer sky and a most impressive piece of engineering!
The view from under the arch.

I think some of you who read my blogs know me well enough by now. I like to challenge myself, I also don't like the negative stuff that happens to me and I always try to change it about.

So, I'm standing right underneath something I previously shivered at the thought of going anywhere near, and I'm thinking, wow, this is beautiful, how impressive, what a beautiful piece of engineering, wasn't Brunel a genious, and the Steam train goes over this, brilliant!

I start walking around it some more, touching the damp surface, getting to grips with how it was built, I had a goosebump moment after that, as lots of people died building viaducts. Makes you wonder about past life stuff a little? Maybe? I guess no one will ever know.
But I was now starting to turn my fear, turn the negative into a positive. Just as learning to swim and gaining confidence in the water would eventually rid me of my swimming fear, this was now becoming a reasonable way forward for me.

I'm an Agatha Christie geek and a Steam Train geek, let's add a third, let's get some photos of viaducts in other places. Lot's of steam railways have this opportunity, I can combine the both and double up the geek anti!

I guess, fear really, or should I say, fear management is about reasoning, find the cause, I guess I will never know the cause of my fear, but reason as to why you shouldn't have it, deal with it and move on.
I'm not saying I'm all better and I won't have any wobbly moments again, but I would like to think that I wont, after all, I have now reasoned that they are well-built, strong, safe, beautiful to look at and they carry steam trains! There is no reason as to why I should ever cry near one again!

It's easy for me to say that everyone's fears can be changed, not everyone is as stubborn about stuff as me, but if people were guided through the right positive route around that fear, and slowly knock down those barriers, then one day things could be better.

 Debbie did fear, and it was good!

dancing, river, sparring and laughing!

Art'noon all (unless you're reading this at a different time of day, then *insert your own*)

So, last night I fancied a little dance, bit of fat burning, socialising and drinking for a change!

I have promised myself a dance at The Bull on a friday night so it had to be done!

Little Jo Kickboxer came with me as she usually frequents the bottom of town so a change is as good as a holiday they say!

Jo normally goes out at about 10pm (bedtime) so going out with me at 7pm was surely going to end in disaster! Plus, never try and match my drinking, it's one of my specialities! I'm well practised!

So, lots of dancing later, I hadn't drunk much as I was dancing too much, Jo however was hilarious. Not going into detail but she had to be walked home!
I took off my shoes, removed my socks and put them on Jo's feet as she couldn't walk home in the heels she had with her, popped back on my shoes, braced myself and we set off home!

She got in ok, happy that she was safe I thought (like an idiot) that I would walk back along the river path rather than the street light paved safe option home. The river route to be fair is quicker on a light dry day!

I had no torch and it was absolutely plodding it down, I was soaked already but set off with a spring in my step.
The spring soon went, as the water I was walking through slowly got higher, over my feet. I sploshed through, the water rose, now shin high, at this point I started to giggle!
I couldn't see a thing, it was pitch black, I kept to the right hedgeline, rain pouring down, water getting higher and higher up my legs!

I was now talking to myself, and still giggling about the whole insanity of it, the water was now above my knees slowly approaching thigh.

I could hear the Weir, the water was so loud as it rushed down the steep bank, at least I knew exactly where I was, but it was still pitch black.
The water was now over mid thigh approaching groin level, I could feel it washing up over my bum!

The giggles were now manic, I was now worried and saw the first exit up to the Kevicc Sports field and off I went, out of the water onto the grass and back home!

The expression 'Drowned Rat' was totally applicable to me now, I got in, shook off my hair as a dog would, dried off, wacked on the Tiger onesie and ate some rice cakes before bed!

So, dancing, river and one lot of laughing already covered, now on to today's Sparring competition.

I decided to enter all the categories, shadow sparring, Bo staff and Sparring.

I've never done Bo Staff before, head guards, foam rods and a flipping lot of fun, problem was, I was laughing too much to concentrate on what I was doing. I didn't win but I had a hell of a funny time doing it! If you ever get a chance it's fantasic fun.

The next round, shadow sparring!
I'm a tiny bit of an exhibitionist so this for me was just a show, a little performance, but also when I shadow spar I get to hit my old invisible adversary (ex boyfriend) it's the only time I actually get to beat the crap out of him and leave him dying on the floor!
Long story short, I won! Of course I did - there was only ever me and him in the competition! haha

At the same time 2 of my Junior Kickboxers were competing. Tiny little Olivia held her own even though she's been on antibiotics for an infection, she was ace and did our club proud.
Thomas, her brother won a shadow sparring medal too, he looked like a mini me out there kicking 7 tonnes out of his invisible opponent. Great work guys today!

The sparring was not good for me, the only Kickboxer with TKD sparrers, they are so leggy and distanced and they run around in circles a lot! Not good close contact grappling that I like now, but I did ok, and it was good fun.

I'm off out tonight now to see Colin's band, he's a TKD'er so we shall see what this evening brings! I am however staying on dry land tonight!

Have a great weekend :)

the cake that she dreams of!

Hi all,

Been posting tonight on twitter and facebook about this damned cake so thought I'd tell you all about it!
I have vivid dreams, not the mental ideals of waking moments, but the stuff that happens at night, when you're all tucked up and cosy and listening to the rain beat down on the windows!

One night last week I must have been hungry, it may have been that facebook food-posting night that Jo, Lauren and I had.
But I dreamt of the best cake for a fitness trainer/client!

I wanted low fat, high protein, low carb taste great cake.....

The ingredients and the memory of the dream were vague

No flour = ground almonds (protein)
Low fat = coconut oil (more protein)
Low sugar = bananas and a little honey (natural and immune boosting good training food)
Interesting = poppy and linseed and vanilla added

So I set about it! Randomly guessing everything!

4 brown bananas mashed
250g ground almonds
4 tsp honey (local)
2 tsp vanilla
dash of linseed
dash of poppy seed
4 tsp coconut oil
3 eggs
baking powder dramatically strewn
Mix up in some sort of fashion, wack in the oven on a low heat cos of the almonds, cover with tin foil and take out when you think it's sort of ok!

Result = bit crumbly at first when hot but actually a bloody good training food and tasty afternoon snack!
Give it a go!

Dream cake = done!

Sleep well :)