Thoughtful month......

This was my Dad! My hero, my running trainer, my friend, my sports mentor.....so much more.

Today is the anniversary of my Dad's passing away, in 2001. Although it was a time ago, it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
As I type my Mum is on a train back home to Surrey from Devon, tonight she will be on her own, thinking of that night, my brother will be with his girlfriend, and I shall also be alone.

I am obviously feeling sad, who wouldn't? But you have to be able to control it, to get on and make the positive out of it.
This morning I trained a client, I gave the benefit of my training wisdom, positivity and determination for them to succeed. These are gifts that Dad gave me, whilst we were out running, or training in the gym, or playing squash together. So my Dad lives on, in me.

I had a fantastic weekend with my Mum, although she had to suffer 'grumpy Deborah' Thursday night as I was in agony from my recent tooth problems. Luckily, after another dentist visit Friday, some antibiotics and pain killers I became a much nicer person as we entered the weekend!

We collected my newest family member on Friday, Lulu and black and white long-haired cat. She looks as though she has a little Birman in her and she is currently asleep on the sofa next to me with one of those little cat grins on her face.
People have said I shouldn't have got another cat, I live near the main road, I have 3 dogs, but after Friar died the house has been missing that 'cat energy' some people will know what I mean, those that love cats. I wanted another independant stubborn female in the house, and I definitely got that in Lulu!
She's settling in really well now, and I know she is going to be a little cuddly consoller later this evening when I am home from training!

We also went to see Les Miserables at the Barn Cinema in Dartington on Saturday afternoon. It was awesome! Mum had already seen it, but loved it still the same the second time round.
Mum has a connection with that musical, and Dad, so I know it's all the more emotional to watch.
I had to dig out the tissues, but having emotional responses is human. I laugh as easily!
It was a great weekend.

The other new thing is my tee-totalness! I had decided it was going to happen after my birthday celebrations, so once my birthday was over, that was it, at least until after the Ultra-marathon anyway. And then reduced amounts!
I've always been a drinker, ever since I was 16 and going in the Castle pub in Reigate! You could in those days! I am also a very social person, and the 2 go hand in hand.
I am however not very good at moderation, so it's all or nothing.
My birthday was one of those 'all' occasions, and I'm still finding out what I got up to now! So now, it's nothing.
It's not all good though, as my running is suffering! Sunday mornings I always have a long run, I'm usually a little wibbly from wine or cider saturday night and just get on with it.
This week, however, I struggled with my run. My head was clear, and I felt every little bump in the road, my legs were tired, my lungs felt awful. Now, it could be that the infection I have had in my mouth and the antibiotics may have been the cause of this, and so I shall keep trying this week, I have a few runs planned, but I really didn't enjoy Sundays run at all!

I've noticed no difference in my body, or weight, or general feelings of well-being, but again, all of the last tee-total week I had the worst toothache ever and wasn't feeling good so it's hard to tell, but those of you that know me well, know that I do like a drink, so my body should respond accordingly!
We shall see as this week progresses. The only good thing about the antibiotics was that I couldn't drink even if I wanted to, so it all helped!

It's now under 2 weeks until the Beesands Ultra-marathon, Rob is coming down to Devon so we can run together, Team Funkanova's first event of the year! It's very exciting. I know it's going to be hard going, but the scenery itself will be worth it, and having Rob with me will be perfect!
I'm sure there will be a blog especially for this event, you know me!

If you can all make the most of your friends and family, enjoy your time with them, and make the most of your lives, because you just never know what will happen, have no regrets, make the most of your life and live it! That's why I'm only having a short break from the cider! I enjoy it too much!

Take care x

run and reminisce........

My shoes are drying by the woodburner, happy to be out and about on New Year's Day!

So, last night, I popped back to see if Paddy was ok with the fireworks at midnight as I usually do, but this year, instead of going back out to celebrate into the wee hours, I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up at 5am! Rock n' roll eh?

But, that meant the very best thing - a New Year's Day run, without a hangover!

It's been a while since I've run just for me as I've been ill for 3 weeks, so today I felt well enough and enthusiastic enough to go out there and knock out a few k's.

Decent brekkie of oatbran porridge and fruit donned my favourite lycra trail kit and hit the river path.

Today the weather was beautiful, the sun was shining, and an overall positive feeling in the air. There were loads of people out walking with their families and dogs, I managed to keep cool and calm my run rage as there were no incidents of getting tripped up by dogs or kids or anything!
Today I was running to think, as usual!

But today I was thinking about the past year, I guess a lot of people do that on 1st Jan eh? I thought about the last New Years Day, which was not productive! I thought about the highlights of my 2012, and as I ran I recalled my most memorable, fantastic moment of 2012, the best time of my life - The Forces March!
Nothing could ever beat your first Forces March I reckon, because of that experience I made so of the most positive, supportive awesome friends anyone could ever have. It's a massive family of kindness, so it was no surprise that I volunteered to co-ordinate fundraising in Devon for The Veterans Charity.

With the Forces March I met my 'Funky' partner in crime, Mr Rob Starbuck. We've only known each other since April 2012, but I know that I have one of the bestest friends ever! There's no pretence, no judgement, just fitness, music and dance! So, for that very friendship I would thank the whole year for.

As I kept running, I felt more and more hip pain. It's something I'm getting sorted, but has been getting worse, but I was in Forest Gump mode today, enjoying the fresh air, scenery, living!

Part of my route took me down Longmarsh as I wanted the view in the sunshine, there were loads and loads of puddles down there, and lots of people in smart clothes and clean wellies - well....... I had to didn't I? I legged it down there straight through the middle of every puddle, splashing as much as I could! I know, I know, karma and all that, but muddy is fun, and these people looked like they needed proper real fun in their lives! Not material pleasures, but muddy puddle pleasures! So I carried on down, giggling all the way and turned back up. The party of people dispersed magnificently for me to pass with ease on the way back, still giggling!

My hip was getting worse and I was also feeling a pain in my glute on the same side, probably related! But still no stopping me, I was on a mission, my lungs felt better, but not back to form, I found the inclines hard work on the breathing today, which is unusual.

Again, I thought about the past year, the triathlon, how bad I am at swimming, that will change this year, it will have to, at least by September anyway when I tackle Dawlish again. Good news is I'm on the verge of getting a road bike so at least I can improve easier on that!

I also thought about the few times in the year where I wasn't so mentally positive as usual. Those moments were all fuelled by times when I was pressured into thinking that single wasn't normal! I have lovely friends and most of them in great relationships, or relationships and from the outside they look ok! And even for my Mum's sake, she doesn't like me being alone. I guess everyone thinks that it's the norm to have a partner, to share life with someone, but I have since found out this year, that I am not that good at relationships, but significantly awesome at one night stands and the like! haha

But on a serious note, I don't want that pressure anymore, I'm on the fitness singles website, I have lots of male friends, but I just don't know what I want.
I don't know myself, I was thinking this as I ran up  Dartington Drive, I looked down at the flowing river, and thought that actually I don't know my flow. I don't like myself I know that, I think until I am actually happy and content with my own life and character then how can I be happy being part of a relationship?
I'm going to get into my own flow this year and try to like myself a little better, but for that I would need to perfect, and that is just not going to happen.........

At the top of the Drive I thought my lungs would burst, mucus in there making my breathing so hard I thought I was going to throw up, but then a 'Rita' moment kicked in and off I went down hill running like a small child without a care in the world, arms flailing, feet pounding, biggest smile ever.

I'd ditched the negative relationship thoughts by then as they weren't conducive to a nice run, and thought about my Christmas with my Mum, my successes at work, how well everyone had trained, how great my clients were looking and how fit they had become, how Fighting Fit Devon had turned a corner and this coming year is going to be so so good. More smiles, more pace, more hip pain, but I was flying.

Never look back, never go back to anything negative, but whatever makes you feel good, do it again, like running, like The Forces March, like the good solid trustworthy friends that will always be there.

2013 is going to be a great year, negative people and thoughts are going, I have no time now for them, just for the future.