a bit of a pants week

Sat down, pink-faced after a 5k run.

I don't like short distances now, they are too sprinty! I'm much more of a plodder now. But the Dawlish Triathlon has a 5k run to finish so I am training that distance now to get used to it.
I am making no progress on increasing my time though.

Last week did 5.03k in 26.54 mins
Same route, turned cyclemeter off .1 short so 5.02k today in 26.43 mins
I know in one week there wouldn't be much improvement, but I felt like I really went for it today and nothing :(
I've lost a couple of lb in the week too in a bid to be lighter so I can go faster. If it's not more improved next week I'm going to start worrying.

Part of the problem I think is that I don't know how fast I run anymore, I know how fast to pace everyone else, I know a Beth pace, A Tania pace etc but I'm not sure what mine is anymore.
I'm relying on my running, my strongest part of the triathlon so I don't come in last!

I've had a bit of a rough week as it is, poor litle Skitz my 8 year old ferret died. He was a little sweetie, he died peacefully in his sleep in my old fleece with his daughter Nancy sleeping next to him. She's a little depressed about it, as much as a ferret can get depressed!

Had a weird blip too, I think I am destined to be single, as I have absolutely no luck with men anymore! It's as though I want to be on my own forever. Maybe that's why?! Anyway, seemingly my ideas of a joyful time with a good friend are now under the carpet swept up with all the other joyful times I've missed because of my insecurity.
Can someone inject me with a dose of self-confidence please?
I know I give it all bravado but it's only a front, I'm actually a fragile little Deborah underneath it all.

I have, however, on a more positive note, earnt some money this week! So I can eat at the weekend! haha things seem to be building with Fighting Fit Devon and I am slowly growing more confident in my ability to make it work. So it's not all bad!

The turning point in my week is coming today just after 2pm, I go and pick up the newest addition to the Miller-Wright family - Finnegan the Springer Spaniel! I shall no doubt have a little blog about the fella once he arrives! It's going to be great.

Sorry for the negative, feel better though for getting it out there! Now I can smile.

Take care :)